A client of mine (who has become a lovely friend) ran up to me at school the other day with a gift in her hand for me. Now this was especially touching because it's not like I just did her family photos, her session was last year some time. And when I think about it, she gave me a gift them too. You are spoiling me 'L'. Anyway, I couldn't imagine why she was giving me a gift after all of this time. But she explained that she still reads my blog regularly and loves all of the comments I make about mother's and children and she has a beautiful book about motherhood and she felt I would enjoy the book also. Isn't she sweet. It brought tears to my eyes that she was still thinking about me and that she would go to so much trouble for me. I love love love to read, especially books that make me feel better about my crazy life and that tell me I'm doing an okay job even when I often think I'm not. And this book is just fantastic. It's called:-
I can't tell you how much I am enjoying it. And there are so many funny little bits in it I plan to share some on the blog every now and then to give you all a little laugh.
Here is the opening few paragraphs from the book:-
There is an awful condition running amok among our mums these days. Bad Mother Syndrome, or BMS for short. It is invariably self-diagnosed and, on the whole, way off beam. Even when they are frantically juggling kids, bosses and husbands – plus family, friends and bills – most mums still seem to find the time for one final job: beating ourselves up. We do everything we set out to in a day bar one – guess what we are going to focus on? And, when we really work ouselves up, we imbue everyday tasks with a significance so great it becomes less about something our kids will eat, or not eat, around midday at school, and more a symbol of how good or bad a mother we are. 'If I give my daughter Twisties, will the additives limit her learning potential?' 'If I wrap my son's sandwich in plastic, am I saying it's OK to damage the environment?' 'If I make the sandwich with white bread, will the pumpernickel-mothers sneer?' 'Is it possible I've lost my sense of proportion?'
It seems to me that it might be time to let ourselves off our own hooks for a little while – to laugh at rather than lament the things that go wrong and embrace the chaos rather than the control theory of motherhood.
If you have everything under control, then you don't need this book. I salute you, but I think I also doubt you. However, if you have indeed got everything covered, with limitless energy left over, could you please go back to whatever planet you are from because we don't need you here making the rest of us feel more hopeless than we are making ourselves feel already.
But if you have even the tiniest inkling that your marriage, motherhood, career and sense of self may just occasionally be a little askew, this mishmash of maternal musings might just strike a chord. It's something to flick through while you rifle through drawers for AAA batteries, re-attach Polly Pocket limbs or put the washing out. Above all, it's something to make you realise it's not just you, it's all of us. And none of it is as bad as we think. And most of it is actually pretty amusing.
Doesn't she write beautifully? This is exactly the sort of book I'd like to write one day (if I was ever going to write a book LOL). Something that allows mother's to see that they are doing the best they can and not to be too hard on themselves. I think you should run straight to a book store and buy this book. But if you can't, keep checking back here regularly because I will be sharing more exerts from it over the coming weeks.
I'd just like to leave you with the first quote in the book:-
you as happy or as sad,
as proud or as tired,
AIN'T THAT THE TRUTH!